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Profound Emptiness Inside

 

Last Saturday night, I felt the shadow of reality embracing me; it was so tight that I had hard time breathing. No words could describe the profound emptiness I was feeling inside. I felt sad, and tired. I felt restless and hopeless. Life has not been so good to me, and I am tired of fighting. I never felt so alone, yes, I lied with someone in bed, but I couldn’t feel his presence. It felt like his existence was making me crippled. His presence was like an invisible chain, which prevented me to get away and did things I always wanted to do. I am given a freedom, but with boundaries. I wanted to get away with this chain, but somehow I felt comforted by the fact that I didn’t have to face failure. That’s what I thought, at first, but every day, not being able to do the things on my mind and time passes me by like a bad premonition every day, I felt I am a failure. I let my self fail, I let him fail me, and that’s making me sad about my existence.

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